Source
r/CuckoldCommunity•
TruthKnowI

I want to stop and i think someone here can help

NSFW

most of the time if i am in the mood i get very self destructive. I crave a girl who is very cruel. I indulge in cuckold fantasies or sadistic findom fantasies. During my life i have acted on these before but I have no honest desire to do so anymore. I have been married for over a decade and i don't have a desire ot be a part of our marriage. The thing is, once i ejaculate, it all goes away. I feel "fixed" and i don't crave the abuse at all. Don't read into that. I feel this fetish is a very fun thing to do and there is nothing wrong with it. In fact I am posting here because of the normalcy of the posts. However all of my fantasies are very very cruel.

Has anyone been like me? do you know of anyone? does anyone have insight as to a possible why?

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Please keep in mind i am not knocking the fetish and i am just asking for help. Thank you to anyone who can help.

Posted Aug 19, 2019, 2:47 AM UTC

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[deleted]

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Waterfall-other-way•

The short answer is: this is great material for a competent marriage and family therapist.

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JustForPornAndPorn•

I'm not a psychologist or anything, but I've done a good amount of research into psychology because of my own issues. Usually people think the way they are taught to think. If you associate love with being abused, you were probably abused by someone you love. Doesn't have to be physical. Emotional abuse can fuck you up.

Cuckolding for me hits the same part as pornography. Pornography is a self-escalating thing. The more you consume, the more extremity you crave to hit the same high. It's normal. It's a dopamine thing. Supposedly you can reset your system by going without for about a month, but it's really rough. If you're depressed and need a pick me up to feel normal, I'd recommend weed if it's legal where you live. Made it a hell of a lot easier to work through my stuff.

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VanessaChaland•

Look up "sub-drop". Sub Drop is the body's response to the drop of endorphins in the body after a play session. And also, factor in, or evaluate whether or not you were raised with religious guilt as it may apply to any "unconventional" sexual desires or activities. Might that be part of the problem?

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Naughty_Bimbo•

I would love to weigh in on this topic. My cuck has this exact thing happen to him mostly when he is sissified but can also be when he is just being cucked without being dressed. Chastity works great for keeping him frustrated and focused.

As a ProDomme I have encountered clients who also experience this. In fact, I have a regular who when he first started coming to see me was only asking for more tame things like sissification & ass worship but it has progressed to include blackmail roleplay, orgasm denial and chastity alongside it. My humiliation is cruel and while he loves every bit of it in the moment, the second it's over its an instant change in his energy. It's an extreme energy exchange and I always need additional time for my own aftercare when our sessions are over. He is also often met with varying degrees of shame and discomfort when it's over. It's a lot different than when he first started seeing me, I have done a lot of work in building his confidence and reassuring him that his sexuality and what turns him on doesn't make him a bad person. He has really learned to be fearless in what he wants and to be okay asking for it.

I would also like to say the stigma of paying someone for sexual gratification is one I wish would go away. There is an honest service happening in this exchange that is more than just sexual. I think of what I do as a form of therapy, a way to help men free themselves from the shame and encourage them to embrace their truth. Individuality in what turns us on is beautiful and it's rare to find people who just get it and understand WHY you tick the way you do. The idea that it cheapens things because you pay for it is so narrow minded and frankly, ignorant. I derive just as much pleasure from my client interactions as I do from when I engage with my cuck.

I would recommend trying chastity and see how it makes you feel. If your partner will work on long term orgasm denial with you it would be even better. Your focus should be on her and her pleasure first anyways. Chastity is a wonderful tool for helping you focus on that.

Best of luck.

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