Source
r/sex•
nullbit

I hate how much anxiety I get -_-. How many of you rely (or have relied) exclusively on condoms for birth control?

I have always been very safe when it comes to sex (it was grilled into me from a young age not to get a girl knocked up, etc.). My "rule" has always been to have the girl on birth control + condom + pull-out.

The issue is that, for medical reasons, the girl I've been seeing has had to go off birth control, which makes me, admittedly, irrationally anxious about having sex.

I think part of the reason I am anxious is because for a while, condoms didn't fit me right (I'm an average-joe). I've since found better, snugger condoms, but in my head I worry that semen might get pushed down the shaft of the condom or something.

I know I'm being overboard, but its something I've dealt with (and wanted to change) since the first time I had sex several years ago.

Are there any of you who have just relied on condoms (and pull-out?) in your relationship(s)?

Any advice for someone like myself on how I can just relax while being safe and enjoy myself?

Posted Jul 30, 2010, 10:19 PM UTC

160
MrVagoo•

I've been with my guy for 8 years and we only use condoms. Never had a scare yet!

7
redditredette•

Not even one? I am so glad for you guys. That's amazing.

1
MrVagoo•

Well, this might be tmi, but my period is kind of wonky, sometimes it's every 3 weeks, sometimes 4 weeks. So because of that I never keep track of it and it just gets here when it gets here. There has never been a time where I just skipped one though, so no scares!

2
redditredette•

I'm so impressed! Do you guys favor a particular brand/model?

1
fucktoy•

I've been rockin' it condoms-only for a couple of years now. Any hormonal method of BC gives me terrible side effects and the IUD thing just rubs me the wrong way for some reason.

I've never had any pregnancy scares apart from the time that I dismounted and took the condom with me - but I took the morning after pill to be safe and all was well. On that note, the morning after pill gives me no side effects, which is cool...since I was expecting to be puking my guts out for days.

3
Pepsi_max_sucks•

Ah yes. Always hold the base of the condom.

1
sparktika•

I did...and now have a 12 year old.

2
wascurious•

Me too. Last time I used a condom.

1
jekpopulous2•

i drink mountain dew, smoke weed stems, and pull out...

2
Wyldgecko•

When putting on a condom at the tip there should be some space left for the semen to get caught in. If you don't have space there it's too tight. (Hurray you're bigger than you thought).

Can you orgasm without being in her? Can you have sex without orgasming, let her get there first then finish up outside on her or something else?

Can she get an IUD? My wife has one and we love it.

It's not easy to relax when you only have a thin piece of latex between you and creating a child. However ... a morning after pill while not as effective as birth control does work. (89% effective) That might relax you a little if something DOES happen you can hit planned parenthood in the morning and get the pill.

1
nullbitOP•

When putting on a condom at the tip there should be some space left for the semen to get caught in.

Yeah, I do the "pinch" thing to the tip to get the air out and make a pocket for semen.

Can you orgasm without being in her?

Yes

Can you have sex without orgasming, let her get there first then finish up outside on her or something else?

That's what I do. I can control when I cum, so I go until she has hers, then I get to the point where I am going to cum and pull out and cum on her.

Can she get an IUD? My wife has one and we love it.

Never considered that. I'll bring it up.

a morning after pill while not as effective as birth control does work.

So have one ready incase of breakage or something serious?

1
Wyldgecko•

So have one ready incase of breakage or something serious?

I don't know if you can keep them ... I do know that all it takes is a quick trip down to planned parenthood.

1
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
missannethropy•

I have relied exclusively upon condoms during the course of MANY relationships, and have never had one break or gotten pregnant while using them, nor have I, personally, ever gotten pregnant using the "pull out" method, which I do not advise if it is an outcome you fear.

Good luck to you both!

1
4174cc7•

My GF and I have been using only condoms for the past six months and we have had two scares (broke when I was insider her, didn't know it until after I came) which required rushing to get the morning after pill. I seriously don't know exactly what the problem is, but I think they are just bursting from not having enough room in the reservoir (occasionally I pull out and see my dick all the way at the end of the condom, then have to readjust it). Anyway, we are both a bit shook up about it now so I have been pulling out and cumming inside the condom, but not inside her.

My GF is looking into birth control, but basically has to wait until school starts back so she can get it from campus health rather than her family doctor.

1
Pepsi_max_sucks•

Over 3 years of relying on condoms. A few scares (period late) but thats completely normal. Make sure you know how to put it on right.

1
beauregardbl•

Relied on both, then just a condom, then just birth control. Get scared lots. Plan for next time? Revert back to condom & birth control = no scare

1
[deleted]•

The pill can be pretty bad so that sounds like it's for the best. I'm sure you'll be fine with condoms and pulling out. I've relied exclusively on nothing but pulling for more than 5 years and there are no babies running around. Don't get the baby seeds in the love garden near the the very short time each month it's possible to make a baby and you're fine. All those stories they gave you in sex ed about one or two sperm escaping and getting her pregnant even if you don't orgasm was just to scare you. Is it possible in some remote way? sure. Do you go around being afraid of being struck by a meteorite? yeah me neither.

0
nullbitOP•

near the the very short time each month it's possible to make a baby and you're fine.

How do you figure out when this time is? lol

1
pikuri•

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fertility_awareness

Usually called "Fertility Awareness Method" or "FAM".

Have you guys discussed how you both feel about the usage of Plan B? Abortion?

2
[deleted]•

pretty important to pay attention to your woman's cycle if you're not using protection. Pretty important for other reasons too ;)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_cycle

Basically for a few days around day 14 you would be wise to be more careful than usual.

1
fritopie•

Ah, just wait until you get with someone with a cycle like mine. Sometimes it's every 4 weeks, sometimes 5 weeks, sometimes 4 months. (and it's not an uncommon or unusual thing. doesn't have anything to do with health either, just one of those cooky female things. fun right?) It's all over the place. Been trying to figure out the pattern for the past 9 years. Have fun timing that one right. :P

3
[deleted]•

Read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" if you're interested. It is a lot a lot a lot of work, but I can predict the very day my period starts using the methods in the book.

Sounds like that would be awesome for you.

2
[deleted]•

yeah that sounds tricky! I know everybody is different and I don't feel completely comfortable as a man trying to give advice on the subject but it sounds like this guy could use some help so I'm trying. My wife had pretty much a non stop period for a month after she went off the pill and things were really unpredictable for a while after that but we settled down into a familiar rhythm after. I'm not advocating that everyone should do as I do, I'm at a point in life where if the long odds of meteorites and rambo sperm catch up with me, that's fine, I can do that.

1
nullbitOP•

Day 14 of when she starts her cycle? Call me naive, but I thought a girl's menstrual cycle only lasted a week.

1
[deleted]•

click wiki link. The cycle is 28 days long like the moon.

1
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
wascurious•

I got my wife pregnant when a condom tore. Used nothing but pull out if it's not near the period for years effectively. She recently got an IUD, way better.

Tl;dr: IUD> pulling out > condom

0
nullbitOP•

How affordable are IUD's?

1
wascurious•

Was covered on our insurance as a copay. Not sure how much when you have to pay.

1