Learn the alphabet with Dota 2

Welcome to a new game of Dota 2. Today we will learn the first eight letters of the english alphabet!

You load into a game of public matchmaking. Obviously everyone rushes to pick a core hero so you are left to be the magnanimous support player. You decide to pick AA to counter the strong healers on the enemy team.

The horn sounds and bounty runes are contested. Someone called Liquid.Miracle is playing mid Shadow Fiend on your team. After missing all three razes on the disconnected enemy mid, he dies to lane creeps. Enraged, he wastes his BB so he can quickly return to lane and miss another wave of last hits.

In the bottom lane, you are supporting a carry Anti-Mage along with a "roaming" Enchantress. The 0-2-1 Anti-Mage blinks aggressively to secure a kill on a full-health Centaur Warrunner. After dealing 12 damage, Anti-Mage gets stunned and dies. He immediately rages at you in the chat for not picking a support with good CC.

You realise that you cannot help the safelaner any more, so you decide to leave the lane to stack the jungle. You notice your mid player is jungling near the secret shop and does not have a bottle, so you decide to rotate into the river and pick up a DD rune. You use this to great effect, surprising the enemy mid and securing a kill with Chilling Touch.

The solo kill gives you a massive experience boost, and you secure Level 6 just before the 9 minute mark. You notice a brawl at your team's offlane tower, which ends with two of your teammates dying. The enemy Omniknight teleports away, and the enemy Io and Juggernaut relocate away. You correctly predict that these heroes have gone to their shrine, so you cast your ultimate and secure a brilliant triple kill. However, in your distraction, you forgot that you had attack-moved toward the enemy base and end up dying to the Tier 2 mid tower with no creeps or heroes nearby. After this sequence of events, your ally Enchantress all-chats, "Do we have EE on our team playing support?"

Despite your Ice Blast heroics, the game is not going well for your team. By 20 minutes, Juggernaut has a Battle Fury and Manta Style. By contrast, your offlane Clockwerk has rushed Hand of Midas and is now saving for a Radiance. He has not levelled hookshot. You are mentally exhausted and complain mercilessly in the all chat, typing "EZ TEAM FF PLS".

The situation deteriorates further and you suffer a teamwipe at the 30-minute mark. The enemy team take down one set of barracks and rush to destroy the Tier 4 towers and the Ancient. As the Ancient explodes, the enemy mid whose score is 0-1-1 types GG in the all chat.

You accidentally commend your mid player and offlaner. Exasperated, you click "Play Dota" and restart the cycle.