Sharing Some Detailed Points That's Worked for Me [M26] Over the Years

To preface, I'm someone who's never really had any issues finding a partner or getting a date. I just thought I would share some of my lessons and experiences to hopefully be helpful to someone out there, and receive some critique. My tips will be directed mostly to men and are only applicable if you're looking for a serious relationship, because that's what I have experience in.

• Never directly ask a women on a date, I genuinely believe that dates are for couples only. Always ask them to just hangout, and get to know them through thoughtful conversation. Asking a woman on a date directly is just shooting yourself in the foot. Women, in my experience, are extremely wary of danger, so they are extremely careful of commitment when it comes to dating someone they aren't familiar with. Asking a woman to hangout vs going on a date is drastically different in terms of the level of commitment, but practically speaking, they're essentially the same thing (a typical male perspective).

• Be as platonic as possible when you do hangout with women, but also be as thoughtful as you can. Essentially, try to remember small details of them, and show that you remember them without telling them directly. For example, let's say a woman you're interested in likes mochas, bring her one the next time you meet, but don't do it every time, because that's not what a platonic friend does. There is no such thing as taking too long to confess and therefore got "friendzoned". This has never been an issue for me because people want to be friends first before they get into a relationship. I think this is just an excuse for her not being attracted to you in the first place.

• A trick I used to always use when I'm nervous or don't know what to do/say is ask myself "what would a normal person do in this situation?" You can use this to help yourself remain platonic before you confess your feelings.

• When you feel ready to confess your feelings to her (I would say after at least 3 hangouts), do it in a way that gives her the most amount of space, this may include but are not limited to: text rather than in-person, wording of your confession, etc. The reason why you want to text your confession is because this will let her react genuinely without your presence, aka it let's her react negatively without feeling bad. In terms of wording, here's a paraphrased version of what I said to my current gf before we got together (send this in single sentence texts btw, I can't format it properly on reddit):

Hey, I just wanted to let you know that it's been so fun for me to hangout with you for the past couple of weeks. I find myself growing more and more interested in who you are as a person due to your values, morals and character (this lets her know that you like her personality instead of just her looks). I find myself relating to most of the things you say (this lets her know that you are your own person with your own opinions, and not just a follower). Would you be interested in pursuing something more than friends (the wording of this line is EXTREMELY important because you don't want to come off as intimidating so I chose to be a bit vague. Women are often afraid a man will react badly and hurt them)? You don't have to answer right away. I don't mind waiting what so ever (even though you do. The suspense sometimes kills me. You can even add some comedy into this and say "especially if you're going to reject me!" and if she asks why, tell her it's because it will seem like she at least considered it).

• From my experience, women love a man who's alpha, but I think most of society mistakens what being an alpha is. Most people think being an alpha means you're a confident asshole, but this is just not true to what they mean in nature at all. If you research alphas in nature, they make most of the decisions for the pack, but they're also the most compassionate member of the pack; they have to be constantly considering the feelings of their pack. To put it simply, women love the sense of security, meaning they want to feel safe with you both physically and in life.

• Lastly and one of the most important points, take care of yourself. Dress to the best of your ability, take care of you hair, take care of your facial skin, exercise and eat healthy. This not only increases your chances with girls, but you'll also feel more confident.

In conclusion, be as least intimidating as possible and be especially mindful of your choice of wording and the vibe you give off.