who ever knew the seasons could go by so fast?
i remember when the summers lasted longer,
and the warmth became me.
the winter took it away for some time,
stripped all the color, and made it hard to sleep.
yet there was always safety in consistency.
now how could i ever dress for the day?
when i don't know what the weather will bring.
now it's so hard to just go outside,
because the seasons won't ever stop changing.
Posted Sep 18, 2019, 6:33 PM UTC
I'm debating whether this is about growing up or about climate change. The line "yet there was always safety in consistency" makes me think the latter. But the line, "because the seasons won't ever stop changing" gives the impression that time is moving faster as you grow up. Would be interested to hear your response.
It's super interesting to see the different interpretations of it. I think there's definitely a fine line between keeping the meaning ambiguous and making it too unclear that people can't relate to it, and maybe I could improve on that in this poem. I used the seasons of Summer and Winter as a metaphor for happiness and sadness. Maybe with the additional context, the poem would add up a little better!
Wow, I never thought about it this way. I am probably going off the rails by saying that this relates to climate change and the issue of humanity and the planet, but I am glad to know I'm not the only one to remember the seasons differently. When I was a kid there was a clear boundary between summer, fall, winter, and spring. Now they all blend together. You captured that feeling I felt about it in a way I didn't think to do. Nicely done.
i remember when the summers lasted longer,
and the warmth became me.
the winter took it away for some time,
stripped all the color, and made it hard to sleep.
I found the first half of the poem to be so much stronger than the latter half. "and the warmth became me", the Summer is known for its warmth and color. You managed to convey that in the Summer you feel warm and happy while showing that the winter has the opposite effect, stripping away color in the world and making it hard to sleep which will decrease your quality of life.
yet there was always safety in consistency.
I find this line interesting because it breaks the pattern of four lines per stanza pattern that is present in the stanza before that, and it is kind of inconsistent which I like (although I do see that the first stanza is also one line).
now how could i ever dress for the day?
when i don't know what the weather will bring.
now it's so hard to just go outside,
because the seasons won't ever stop changing.
There's something about this that seems weaker, than the first half of the poem, I can't place my finger on it. Nonetheless, this was still a well written poem, and I think it could use a few touch-ups to become even better.
This stanza confuses me:
i remember when the summers lasted longer,
and the warmth became me.
the winter took it away for some time,
stripped all the color, and made it hard to sleep.
I don't think the warmth became me, and the stripped all the color and made it hard to sleep, is kinda like a weird line that needs more context to understand I guess. I like the idea of where it could go to, but a full stanza on summer and winter would make it more complete I guess.
I see what you're saying, I probably could've been a little more clear when writing it. I think it makes a little more sense when you know that summer and winter are used as metaphors for happiness and sadness.
I'm just wishing it was longer on those metaphors with the summer and the winter.
I kinda disagree, I love that stanza.
I feel like I knew exactly what they meant when reading it, but I guess it depends on the person.
You're on to something big here:
requires at least another stanza. Explain.