Why do some men feel entitled to a response to their opeber message with online dating?
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Posted Oct 7, 2019, 12:10 PM UTC
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Some guys just don't handle rejection very well.
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There is never an excuse for men attacking women on dating sites. Even if they’re frustrated they just need to move on. That being said I’m really glad I’m not a man in the world of online dating.
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Some people are jerks. Yes that includes men sometimes.
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privilege makes people real dick heads.
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It’s not the privileged ones who do this. It’s the desperate ones.
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I think it's kind of both, weirdly. People who have berated me for not responding/responding as fast as they'd like seem to be both desperate and really entitled all at once. Insecure yet totally arrogant when you reject them.
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even mild-mannered men can end up frustrated and angry.
If one ignored message turns them into a raging dickhead, they're not mild mannered.
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After the second ignored message, you need to give up. She isn't interested, or is busy. There's nothing you can do about it.
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I'm saying it's not one singular ignored messages, but a series of messages to a series of people that are ignored.
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Borrow a photo of a guy friend of yours, and set up an account in OKC/Tinder/Whatever. Give it a go, and see how it goes. You'll get some picture of how pointless the whole experience is, but the soul-crushing sense of rejection and the accompanying frustration and questioning your own self-worth probably won’t hit, since it’s just a simulation.
A lot of guys who are otherwise good people can have their mental health negatively impacted by the fact that the experience seems to be sending messages into the ether, and it’s pretty disheartening to send a ton of messages which don’t get responded to.
Yours could have been the eleventh or twelfth. Or six-hundred-and-fortieth. It really messes with your head, and I don’t need my head messing with.
I think it would be fab to get a message back. ‘No thanks, you’re not my type, but your profile is lovely’ a lot of men would love that. A response. But there’s a portion who would take the rejection badly, which is why a lot of women don’t want to respond.
I gave up on online dating a while ago. After my most recent relationship, I’m happy being single, and my desire to find a relationship isn’t as big as my desire to avoid online dating.
I took over my guy friend’s OKC for awhile. I can say I’m glad I’m not a man trying to date. Where anyone I swipe on is a match he has maybe 1 or 2 out of 500.
It doesn’t excuse sending out nasty messages toOP, but the crux of this comment is correct.
Your average looking guy will send out twenty messages for every response he might get on okc/match. It is demoralizing as fuck and can really mess with your self esteem.
I do not necessarily blame women for staying dark when not interested, they are inundated with messages and often times a “sorry I’m not interested” winds up generating a nasty response also.
This is pretty much the point I was attempting to make. I think a lot of guys have been there. The problem is that it’s a downward spiral with a negative feedback loop, and shitty behaviour lessens the chances of getting a response even more.