Do you feel sometimes that you think too deep for those around you?

I don't know how to start this so I'm just going to start. Sometimes I feel like my mind is always working in a way out of the ordinary. I had a deep conversation with my roommates, but they didn't seem to get a lot out of it, yet I feel like I'm starting to learn more about myself.

Sometimes, I hate myself. I've gone through severe depression in times and I definitely have random emotions that I don't know where they come from. And that's why the phrase "ignorance is bliss" is so prevalent, at least in my mind. I want to talk deep a lot and my roommates were saying that I'm too serious a lot. And I feel like that's what my close friends say, but it's the opposite to acquaintances or co-workers or whatever. I was voted class clown in my high school. I'd always speak up in class, whether it was funny or not. I felt my thoughts had to be heard. I have no problem making friends, but connecting to then on a deeper level is difficult. It's easy for me to talk about deep matters to them, but it's incredibly difficult for me to get people to reciprocate.

My whole reason for this random tangent is that I'd like to know who else thinks that way. I know I'm not the only one, yet I'm the only one I personally know. I'd most relate myself to Bo Burnham (although I'm definitely not as talented, because goddamn he's phenomenal). Sometimes I feel like I can't be both funny and a deep thinker at the same time. And it saddens me because as much as I love to make people laugh, I also want to provoke thought and intrigue. If I could, I would stop thinking this way, but I always do and I love it. But I also hate it because it seems like no one can relate. They just want the funny part of me, not the intellectual part of me.

Anyway, please, if anyone feels this way, feel free to comment on this with your full experience or message me or whatever. It's something I'd love to hear, just to have someone to relate to.

If you made it through all this text, I honestly and genuinely appreciate it.