Just Some Thoughts

i don't understand it either. it weirds me out, big time.

Some people are aromantic and still have sexual attraction, just like some people are asexual with romantic attraction. I'm not saying everyone who has casual sex is aromantic, I know that's not the case, but it does help illustrate that sexual and romantic attraction don't always have to go together.

But having said that... I don't really understand it either. It probably doesn't help that I'm aro & ace.

Hallo! Right now I have two FWBs, one is coming over in a few days actually, so I can definitely help explain.

Where is the line between friend and bf/gf?

Romantic feelings, and behaviour of investment and commitment that go along with those feelings.

Since "dating" is the code word for "they are definitely screwing" nowadays, what happens if you're doing it but not dating?

People usually use something vague like "have a thing with" or "involved with," sometimes more blunt like "hooking up with." With friends you might just say "we're fucking."

People are okay with having an entire relationship based on using each other for pleasure?

It's not "using" if both people are getting out what they want. There's no manipulation or anything. If I have a friend that I go to tennis with, I'm not using him for tennis matches. Moreover, often there's at least a little bit beyond that in the friendship, though not always.

People want to be intimate but not have the commitment of being in a real relationship?

Sometimes. For example, I'm in graduate school and extremely busy, so I don't have the time to date someone; I'd be frequently unavailable, tired, and not invested in making time for them. But I still have a sex drive and crave sexual connection.

However, another factor is... I don't have romantic feelings for anyone. So it's not just that I don't want the commitment of a relationship--there's nobody I want to be in a relationship with.

How can something so intimate be taken so casually?

Not everyone perceives sex the same way -- it's a concept known as sociosexual orientation. Mine is rather unrestricted. For me, sex can be an activity that yes, still has an aspect of intimacy to it, but is also fun and casual and light. My FWB that I'm seeing in a few days, he and I get along well, enjoy talking and hanging out and watching TV, so we actually happily enjoy spending time with each other beyond sex. It's casual, but not purely sexual. Now, a ONS is purely sexual, but that's why they're short lived.

People seriously trust each other enough not to talk about the other's body, their experience, their performance, or anything else? They wont brag about their experiences with you with other friends or people?

For the most part, a reasonable amount of talking is just... Normal. Common. People don't really think about it like that because most people don't have an issue with it to a basic degree. Also, the more casual the sex is, the less you care if they talk about it to their friends, etc.

Not sure if these help explain things for you, but I'm a rather happily slutty allo and often lurk on here to answer questions, so I thought I'd give it a shot.

Yeah it's kind of weird. I guess for some it's all fun and games until there's a pregnancy scare.