Fellow smartasses of reddit, what was your favorite smart ass remark and the context for why you said it?

This wasn't mine, but it's too good not to share. A friend of mine in grade 8 was kind of a heavy guy. Maybe a lot heavy. Anyway, this group of older girls came parading by us one day and one of them looked him up and down and said, "Boy, you need a bra!"

Luke looked up at her and deadpanned, "Too bad you don't".

Not me but a friend of mine. "I ride my bicycle."

The context: Teache :"you're homework looks like you did it in the bus."

Wouldn't you like to know weather boy?

I slid something across the floor and it landed perfect a ways away. I offhandedly said that's what ten years of curling will get you. The person was being kind and interested and started asking me about it.

I responded, " oh, no, curling my hair."

OP’s mom.

See OP asked a question, then i implied i fucked his mom.

It was fuck you

My teacher was talking about a part of speech in class and told us "I haven't been able to teach any class this subject during my 12 years here" and i, dumbass that i am, asked if maybe she was just the problem and not the students

Had a narcissistic girlfriend who enjoyed constant jabs. One time during sex she asked "Is it in?". I replied "I don't know, is it?"

She got off the bed and stormed off for a few hours. She was very sweet and submissive when she returned which was nice

Ahhh, better to be a smartass than a dumbass I say.

This may sound dumb. But my mom would ask "whats up?" And i would say the cieling

Sky if outside