What is the saddest thing that has happened to you in your life and how did you deal with it?

9 years ago, my best friend (he was in 5th grade at the time) was riding his bike home form the local ice cream establishment... the details are still hazy to everyone but long story short he got struck by a train and died later that day. I honestly can not remember how I dealt with it. The rest of the school year was a blur. Everyone tried to talk to me about it because they knew how close me and victor were but I wouldnt talk to anyone. I just remember being angry ALL the time and thinking about hurting myself.

I still wish I could remember how I got out of my emotional slump