Alright all you (Democrats/Republicans)...

I'm glad you lost the (House/Senate) because you're all a bunch of (dirty hippies/fat rich nut jobs) who yammer on all day about (legal weed/international ass kicking) and don't give a crap about (defending our freedom/protecting the environment)! Now why don't you (tree-huggers/nazi wackos) get in your (Mini Coopers/H2s) and go cry to your (sewing circle/NRA chapter) about how the government is turning your democracy into blatant (Facism/Communism) and the next time I see you idiots hold another (peace rally/tea party) I swear I'll get my (12-Gauge/megaphone) and (lay down the law/drown you out) until you (beg for mercy/scamper away) like the (cowards/wimps) you really are! (Fox/CNN) only report what fits their (Leftist/Right-wing) agenda and constantly ignore the facts, and I can't believe you people would actually take advice from (Jon Stewart/Bill O'Reilly) when he's obviously a (pinko granola bar/hillbilly bible-thumper)! You people make me sick!