Separating girl from her friends?
Backstory: I'm recently single, (within the past 7 months or so) I've already hit the gym and I think I'm ready to try my hand at dating again, however, after 3 years of dating and being out of the goldmine that was college.. my skills are a bit rusty. I have managed to get a few dates off OKcupid, picked up and closed some girl at the bar who I had a fling with for about a month or two but now I have a specific target I'd like to make an attempt at.
The girl is attractive and smart, recent graduate; biology major who put herself through school bar-tending at a hooters.. the job definitely fit her physique, but not her personality, and she now works as a bartender/waitress at a smaller, slightly classier restaurant with a female friend of mine. I noticed her while I was visiting said friend at work and asked her to introduce me sometime. A few days ago I get a text to come meet them for drinks followed by a movie. I head up to the bar and the girls are already a few drinks in and they're just in their own world; talking about customers and coworkers and whatnot.. The only time I have any opportunity to talk to this girl is the 1 or 2 minutes when my friend leaves for a smoke break.. so she starts in with a phrase I hate to hear: "you're so quiet".. I don't work with any of these people they're griping about so I'm not sure how to respond. I start asking her questions.. I don't want to start sounding like an interviewer, but before I have time to get anything rolling, my friend returns from her cigarette and takes over the conversation where she left off. Eventually we went to the movies and obviously nothing happened there, and my friend continues to thwart my advances sitting between us.. but as we were departing she mentioned hanging out again sometime.
I'm feeling cock-blocked by my friend, and I'm not sure how to separate the two. I don't want to be dependent on her to set anything up with this new girl because I don't want to end up in this situation again. Should I go up to her work and chat her up on the job, sans friend or would that be creepy? Any advice for politely interrupting or telling my friend to stop monopolizing the conversation all the time? A wingman might have been beneficial but I did not anticipate the need. I didn't get her phone number or anything; the opportunity never came up given we didn't get much conversation time in. I'm more of a slow-con type of person, if it doesn't feel natural I'm not going to force asking for it for the sake of the game. I don't feel friend-zoned or anything, I'm just in some neutral limbo zone of mystery.
Posted Nov 3, 2010, 6:30 PM UTC