Hey Americaland! Whats with all this 'assists' bollocks?

Over here in Europetown, we dont give much of a shit about assists. I'm not exactly what they are, but I'll just go and assume it means "the guy who passed the ball to the guy who scored" which is what I think you mean. What about the guy who passed it to the assist guy? Does that count? It's the goal that gets you the glory, dont worry about all the other shit, every thing that isnt a goal, is basically an assist.

Also, dont get all statisticky please, its quite a simple game. 2 teams of 11 kicking a small ball around for a while, seeing if they can make it go in to the other teams goal. Thats about it. There is pleasure in simple things, no need to get all detailed about who ran the most.

Also, a penalty kick is called a penalty, or maybe a pen. It is never, and I repeat never, a "Pee-Kay" or PK.

Please get football right. I've only just got over the fact that its r/soccer and that r/worldnews appears to imply that America is not in the world. I'm sensitive like that.

And relax.