Moving out, getting my own place, during a break, how do I make it to the other side?

A bit of background:

My 4 year relationship has been tough these last few months, my gf and I have become more withdrawn from each other, arguments getting worse, more regular, hitting brick walls, no intimacy. We had a talk and we want to make it work, we've figured out how we got here and what we have to do to make things work. We're both emotionally drained; I'm depressed, not living a healthy life (not eating, sleeping, becoming reclusive, stressful working from home all day, every day).

So rather than trying to fix our relationship along with the long list of problems, we're having a break to fix ourselves first. If we stayed together I think we could have another argument due to all the pressure in our lives which could end us.

So, to get to my point. I'm looking for a place of my own. I've shared houses with people all my life (I'm 29). I've lived with my grilfriend for 3 years. I'm suffering from mild depression at the moment and living with my parents. I'm worried about living on my own, I really want to get my confidence/happiness back by pulling myself out of this rut. I don't have many friends, at the moment I spend most of my time working to keep myself from getting down/thinking about things. Could solitude be a really bad thing?

The break is a temporary thing, we have to finalise how long it will last (maybe a month/6 weeks). I know I have my parents house for some company/conversation, but I really want to be happy within myself. I don't want to just wait out all this solitude while pining for her. I'd like to see myself going out more, meeting up with old friends, working out more, stop working from home and become the person I used to be on my own. But I'm scared that I'll get my own place, become more depressed and lock myself away from the rest of the world and end up worse than from where I am now.

Can anyone give me any advice on what it's like? I don't know anyone who has gone through this and I'm concerned about where I'll end up at the end of our break.

TL;DR - life's been tough, relationship has become strained, having a break for a month/6 weeks, I'm going to live alone for the first time in my life to rebuild. Worried will I be able to do it?

Posted Nov 3, 2010, 8:46 PM UTC

04
Loading comments…