The response I did NOT send to an email I received at work today.

I'm sorry to hear that the agent that you had spoke to today did not live up to the service ideals we expect of our Platinum Concierges service. Due to the inconveniences that she caused you we will have her shot at sunrise, drawn and quartered, her head copped off and put on a pike, then have her buried face down in an unmarked grave that will be regularly desecrated by bands of roving hobos.

Have a nice day!