eat me whole

You say the grass isn’t always greener

You were a field of wildflowers that shook in the breeze

Too fragile to withstand more than a passing touch

But how I wanted to roll around in them

Yank them from their stems

Shove fistfuls of dirt in my pockets

Bury myself in the earth where they stood.

But I knew the rain would never come -

That the sun would hide like a frightened child

That the earth would swallow me up

And spit out my leftovers to the worms.

. . . . .

You say “I told you so”

But what about everything I told you?

Each word you said I gripped onto so tight

My fingernails down your back

Clawing

Scratching

Desperately trying to set free

Words that were never inside you

I feel the blood drip down my hands

Warm and angry

It belongs to me.

The words I said to you were weightless

May as well have been an AM talk show you let play in the background to drown out the lonely

Sounds running together but never making sense

You turn me off the second you reach your destination-

The place you really want to be.

. . . . .

At first I was your shiny new toy

One you liked to show off to your friends -

I liked it this way.

I kept waiting for you to take me out and play with me

Wanted to make you smile when no one else was around

But the moment they left you’d put me back on the shelf

Collecting dust with your other pretty things

Were you afraid I’d lose my value?

Did I ever have any at all?

. . . . .

The way you look at me changes

Hardens

Yet I find myself grateful

That your eyes still search for me at all.

Though now it is different -

You look at me with a hunger I know I can never satiate

But I lead you inside me anyway

And beg you to eat me whole

. . . . .

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