Best panic attack yet.

I had one today, I've been having them spread out over 16 years. I feel like each time I learn a little more and handle it a little better.

I've had the times where I have my heart beating out of my chest for hours, appendages cramping out of stress and reactions. Thinking I would never get through it.

Twice I went to the Emergency clinic thinking the symptoms were similar to a heartattack. (Still paying off random charges from that, they were never super helpful, more interested in my insurance number etc )

So today one started coming on. It has been years. So I sat down on a bench outside my job and said to myself, let's go, let's do this thing.

My nose and face went numb and started tingling, so did my fingers especially on my left side. Emotions started to come up, so I let them, and allowed anything that came up to exit with a sob or a whimper.

After sitting there and allowing it to happen, after about ~ 20 minutes I was done. I took a deep breath and went a finished a few bits at work, went home early and took a nap.

Fuck anxiety, I hate this shit, but I feel encouraged that it was a vastly different experience this time around. I knew I wouldn't die (well, like 90% sure) I knew it wasn't a heart attack, and I knew that this too, shall pass.

Hope this is something that someone finds useful and maybe helps them when they are in a similar situation. Big hug for everyone, if you wanna AMA feel free anytime about anything.