Can't escape these thoughts so joined this subreddit

Since age 19 (I'm 38), raised Christian (but couldn't "get into it" because no evidence), I seem to have been in some kind of existential crisis. It usually occurs for a few weeks every few weeks.

What is the point of life (besides procreation)? Many will say yes essentially, but the point of life is living; you have been given a ticket, the precious gift of life, so just enjoy the ride, easy! I can't if I don't know the reason. I need the truth. These thoughts are constantly in my mind, I wish I could just relax and enjoy life "for what it is". I'm sure this topic gets posted every day.

Other mental notes: OCD also since 19, a sense of time is ticking. Hurry hurry!

I guess this isn't a question, but I hope to meet others who feel the same or different, I like to be challenged. Any comments, thoughts or ideas are most appreciated.