The love of my life has broken my heart and I don’t know what to do.

We’ve been together for over 2 years. We’ve been inseparable. We’ve had life-changing adventures and I’m madly in love with her and think she has the other half of my soul. We’ve always been on the same page on that. We’ve both had bad relationships. I’ve been cheated on a lot and that has made me very insecure and I have trust issues. She has issues with feeling controlled or trapped because of an extremely abusive ex (restraining order and all) who gave her Stockholm’s years ago. After a lot of stress financially, it had taken a toll on us both and she expressed her want for a break and to move out. I didn’t want to do this because I love her. I think she still loves me too. She says she does but she has a lot of trouble expressing her real emotions. She’s having a hard time in this time as I am too. She’s relying on friends for support and she’s taking space even though we still live together. I am now sleeping on the couch and we’re separated most of the time. We try to stay cordial and friendly. She made it clear that she wants us to be okay and doesn’t want to be apart forever, but we both just need to sort things out to fix things. Now, I sit here writing this after a horrific night. She had gone early yesterday morning to her mothers for a thanksgiving meal. She had gotten back at about 4 in the morning and was acting very strange. I try to ask what’s wrong and get nothings and shrugs. She leaves again for 2 hours and comes back. After trying to figure out what’s going on, she tells me that she slept with her abusive ex. I feel led on. I feel betrayed. I feel broken. I only wanted to try to make things right and get back my best friend and soulmate. Now, I don’t think things can ever be fixed but I can’t see a normal life without my best friend. I love her with all of my heart and she has made me never want to see her ever again and that’s the most painful thing she could have done to me. How do I cope with this? Anyone... anyone at all. Please give me some words of wisdom and clarity. The only girl who had had my heart in my life had ruined me. How do I continue feeling this hurt and lost? I want things to be normal again so badly but I know that will likely never happen. What do I do?