Suicide

I am at the best point in my life logically, fantastic career, great friends and family and it’s only getting better.

But

If Anything happened to my boyfriend I’d kill myself, we’ve been together for almost 3 years and he has helped my achieve so much, he is my weak point and I need to figure out how to strong independently, I have read book after book about self help, meditated, wrote lists explaining the illogical nature of my feelings.

I suffer with anxiety, paranoia and depression (I’m on strong doses and I feel amazing 99% of the time) but whenever I get these invasive thoughts I can’t shake them I don’t know what to do