I needed you

I've always wanted that mother daughter relationship so many others have. I know I'm not alone in my longing for a mother. You're here but you have broken me down. I needed a mother. Not a "friend".. not to be your mother. Not to be a scapegoat. I know my alcoholic father has hurt you.. but he hurt me, too.. and I was a child. I was confused. I didn't want to pick sides or just be your emotional punching bag.. why are you still with him if he makes you so miserable? I don't want to be around either of you. Ever. All it does is cause me so much pain. I just want a mother.