Am I ready looking for love?

Hi I'm a single 34F and never had a boyfriend. When I was studying, there were a few guys I like & liked me back.

I think it could be my issue with abandonment. I love to be loved but I always find excuses to not be with someone fearing he would not love me in the future or being cheated.

Also it doesn't help that half of the time, my self esteem & body confidence are low. At that time, I feel that I'm not beautiful or slim enough to catch someone's eyes. At present, I working on it by loving myself more & appreciate what I have by seeing more & more positive self esteem & high confidence portrayed in socmed by people who are not typically seen as beautiful/attractive & bigger in size. I envy them for putting themselves out there, being comfortable & some are in healthy loving relationships.

In a few years, I'll be 40 and honestly I would love to have children before then which for me will requires me to have a supporting and loving guy.

I do have my list of wants in a partner but at the end of the day, all I want is someone who loves, respects & supports me.

Sometimes I feel like I don't need a man in my life but I do yearn the companionship; physically, mentally & emotionally.

Am I really ready for love?