Another night where I took benadryl to fall asleep before I killed myself and I guess it worked. I'm nodding off now and even though I almost did it and am still close I am almost asleep

If I know i feel terrible I take benadryl -- tonight it was a little excessive at 6 pills -- so I fall asleep before I hurt myself. Tonight I did it. And I have a noose set up in the garage and I was out there just talking to people on reddit but I'm starting to nod off a little bit. And I don't want to fall asleep in here so I'm gonna go in to my bed