Not diagnosed but once in a while want to die

Is this more normal than I'm imagining? I'm engaged, I have a good job, have an interview for grad school, and tonight again i just want to be dead

I haven't been drinking, I'm completely sober, I lead a healthy lifestyle, exercise regularly, don't smoke, and I still just want to die

There's no reason, just somehow I get set in this mood every few weeks. I'll drive around or play music to occupy my mind, but I just feel like a failure and a burden on everyone and I wish I wasn't, here

Is this something most people will have and just don't talk about?