Severe loneliness, looking for a friend

I am looking for a friend to talk to. I have severe neglect/abandonment issues. My mom and dad were to busy when I was young and never really gave me attention. My mom died 10 years ago and most my family is still loyally in the cult aka shunning me. When I woke up 3 years ago I fell into blackest suicidal depression, about 10 months ago I finally climbed out. Now I'm falling back into it, I just don't know anymore