My Angry Teen

ACA, in recovery. I think I am able to conceptualize of where the majority of my anger is and that is with my inner teenager. My inner teen fantasized about standing toe to toe and face to face with my my father seething with rage poised to finally reach back and knock that smug smirk off my fathers face. I have this vivid memory or fantasy, I can't tell anymore, if that scenario happened except if it did i was overcome with doubt and fear and backed down. I feel like my father had this way of shutting him down...there were no words...just a look and a posture. This look seemed to be a combination of contempt, irritation and amusement. This look seemed to convey the sentiment of "What are YOU gonna do about it.....you...aint...gonna...do...NOTHIN'" Spirit crushing domineering intimidation...with just that look. I find it hard to connect with my teen, with this angry version of myself. I think I had worked for many years to suppress and ignore him. For that I am sorry and I look forward to getting to know him better and let him know he is loved and heard. I dont know...but...I do know I am thankful for being heard.