Charlotte's Web Challenge: The Test of Narcissism [Day 1 of 578]

The idea is that some stranger believes so wholeheartedly in himself and his message that he would spend enormous daily energy taking over several subreddits in a transparent attempt to self-promote. Remember that Charlotte did the same, albeit in a barnyard context. And her daily messages were, ironically, created via the "web". For the next 578 days, I will similarly post messages for what I believe to be the salvation of all the barn.

If you truly understand the Charlotte myth, the questions you must ask yourself are five-fold.

1. Using Charlotte's Web as the yardstick to measure the quality of arachnoid behavior, Charlotte is a truly heroic figure. Whom amongst you will commit to my challenge of eating only insects to ritualize and sanctify heroism in ourselves?

2. If you do not feel you can commit to this level of challenge, will you at least give up bacon and make a public statement?

3. If we use Charlotte as the embodied characterization of 100% trait conscientiousness, wouldn't it follow that I MUST create a new post every single day for the next 578 days?

4. If I give up on this project, are you all not the "Wilbers" who will be slaughtered and eaten? I mean, you know, metaphorically.

5. Isn't Reddit kind of a shithole nowadays? I mean, what with all the pre-teens invading, all the keyboard warrorism, the self-promotion, the dumb-as-shit low-level arguments... every other subreddit seems to be basically out of control. It makes for a pretty lousy way to share interests and discuss things. Reddit's real problem is that there's no sense of community. Unless a subreddit is small and very limited, nobody remembers who the posters are. Nobody truly cares. Why are we still here?