Source
r/bisexual•
O2012

Bi guys in heteronormative relationships - how did you find your partner?

Hey all,

28 yo guy here. So just for some context I’ve had 2 serious relationships with guys and only casually dated women so far.

Ever since realizing I’m bi I’ve had a lot of anxiety about dating women and being rejected by them because of my sexuality. I really want to explore this sort of relationship but a lot of times the anxiety keeps me from even trying because I tell myself that the woman will just reject me anyways. I also try to meet bi women through different events but those events only happen once in a while and there’s still the issue of finding someone you are attracted to and compatible with.

So for those of you in a hetero relationship, how did you find your partner? If your partner is straight at what point did you come out to them and how did you navigate the topic? Also, any tips on how to meet more bi women or accepting women would be greatly appreciated!

Posted Jan 2, 2020, 6:37 PM UTC

1217
BiCommissionerBisexual :flag-bi:•

I met her at work when I wasn’t even looking. I was still dealing with a lot but didn’t come out until we were married (32M). She’s the biggest supporter and champion that I have now. Don’t think of being Bi as a handicap to women (or anyone), think of it as a character filter.

8
O2012OP•

Do you think things would have gone the same if you came out to her at the very beginning? And what happened when you did come out?

3
BiCommissionerBisexual :flag-bi:•

I like to think so, we had talked about sexuality before and she’s always believed sexuality is fluid.

Even still when I came out, I prepared myself to lose everything. I came out and she said she loved me and was happy that I was able to get to that point. She supported me as I went on my “coming out tour” and informed everyone who mattered around me, and even to her family who about half immediately rejected me (I was too liberal before, now I’m public enemy #1) and a few others I lost along the way. She suggested that we become open, which we did, we got a counselor to help us make sure we had all the tools in place to make that work and it seems like we’re on the right track now. I met a guy who I connect with who’s also in a stable open relationship with his husband. I feel like the luckiest guy alive right now,

2
O2012OP•

Thank you for sharing!

2
novae11Bisexual :flag-bi:•

I'm curious too. I would love to meet more bi guys

5
Garris_The_RedeemedBisexual :flag-bi:•

I mean then this sub is the right place to do it. Hi Bi-guy here shakes your hand nice to meet you. I enjoy table top games and odd topics of discussion.

7
novae11Bisexual :flag-bi:•

Hi there 👋🏽 nice to meet you

3
killerbee2319•

Hi fellow bi-guy! I too enjoy table top gaming and odd topics.

3
Garris_The_RedeemedBisexual :flag-bi:•

What's been your favorite table top game so far.

1
killerbee2319•

I'm a big time D&D player, but I used to play magic as well. I'm a sucker for just about any board game too.

1
Montreal_male_piece•

I wouldn't feel anxious about dating women. Both can reject you for being bi. I've known I'm bi since I was 19, and had long relationships with heterosexual girls that I was lucky enough to meet and that have never had any issues with it. I've usually talk about my bisexuality as soon as things start getting serious. Because I do believe it's up to them to decide if they'd be willing to have a bi boyfriend or not. This is not my choice.

I always tell them that I'm bisexual, but that I'm monogamous.

And where did I meet them? I'm 40 now, so it has always been through friends or places that I used to go. Never had any serious relationship with a bi girl, though. I've met some, but unfortunately it never worked out.

2
O2012OP•

Thanks for sharing, it reassuring to hear that at least some women don’t have an issue with it.

2
Montreal_male_piece•

No problem my bi friend. It's not a problem to be bi and you will see that a lot of people agree with us. Be honest and give them some time to process if they need it. Best of luck!

2
emjen17•

Heyo! Sorry to intrude but I’m a bi girl (21) in a heteronormative relationship with a bi guy (21) rn and we met through a class in college via a random conversation. He came out to me almost immediately when we were hanging out talking with some of my friends and my sexuality was brought up. It was a relief for me to know that he identified as bi and that I wouldn’t have to worry about explaining myself to him or make him feel self conscious when I tell him about that part of myself. You being bi definitely is going to be seen as a pro to most women especially if they’re bi as well imo. It’s super sexy when a dude is confident in himself (without being an asshole obviously) and isn’t afraid to tell people who he is. Bi dudes are the best. I believe in you man! You seem very genuine and I’m confident you will meet a great girl!

2
O2012OP•

What an awesome comment, thank you for the encouragement and kind words :)

2
emjen17•

Anytime man, we bi folk gotta stick together and support one another 😊

2
bengringo2Bisexual•

Tinder... I'm basic like that.

1