ššš
Posted Jan 7, 2020, 9:58 PM UTC
1034
Itās a wee bit presumptuous to assume that every nanny would want to sleep w your husband, regardless of his desires. It takes two to tango and thereās never been a DB Iāve even thought was attractive
23
Right? We see them at their worst. Nothing attractive about a DB. Even the āhotā ones.
9
Iāve had a DB refer to me accidentally once as his sister, and then agree he kind of saw me that way. I think this sort of intimacy is way more common than anything romantic, and even that sort of friendship is rare
2
Thatās... adorable. Honestly. In any other situation Iād get squicked immediately if my boss called me family, but itās kind of this weird semi-familial experience for a lot of us.
Current DB introduces me as āa family friendā (even introduced me as that at the babyās adoption hearing!!š) & I definitely feel like Iām fairly close w the family in that way. We definitely vibe ā which is a hilarious way of putting it, but itās true. Heās got some obscure punk on his iTunes that turned out to be my cousinās college band, so thereās been this strange bonding experience over that.
And I mean.. as a massive lesbian thereās less than zero chance of anything.. With either parents. So that issue was never an issue, per se.
2
I know DB trusts me to ārun things off of meā more than he does his wife. It has ZERO to do with his relationship rather than he just knows I understand his child the same way he does.
1
I saw my db once passed out in the bathroom in his underwear. He's a very attractive man but I feel no attraction to him whatsoever, he's my boss and he and mb are perfect together.
P.s. he passed out and fell hard which is why I broke the lock to the bathroom door and went in lol.
1
GET A THERAPIST, LADY
18
I am a bit uncomfortable having another woman in the house to be honest especially someone younger and more attractive than me
Insecure much?
I trust my husband
No you don't.
But if I am rejecting them just based on their age and attractiveness that itās sexist.
He's right.
I feel that there should be an exception for someone that will be in our house all day.
No there shouldn't be. You said yourself they were qualified in every way for the job except this incredibly ridiculous and immoral condition you've placed on the opportunity.
14
THANK YOU. Writing it off as āpost partum hormonesā kills me. You can be insecure about your body AND trust your husband. Jfc. A professional nanny is a professional regardless of how she looks.
5
I wonder if I was hired because I'm ugly enough to not be threatening.
Seriously though, why does everyone think nannies want to sleep with their bosses? It's insanely unprofessional & would be an abuse of power if the Dad did try anything on. Wife is probably going through a lot and not feeling so attractive, the Dad should be looking at his own behaviour too.
12
Movies/TV
In movies people who hire nannies are rich CEO dads with a stay at home wife that spends her days shopping, getting pedicures, and brunching. The husband is so rich he has young girls throwing themselves at him everywhere he turns but the wife is so busy spending his money, she has no idea whatās going on in her own house or marriage.
11
Celebrity stuff too. Seems like a lot of celebrity dads end up with the nanny.
1
Lmao Iām gonna go OFF on the person who said thereās truth to the husbands sleeping with nannies/secretaries
10
Eh, my garbage father had an affair with my nanny when I was 3. Most of his affairs were women he worked with including at least two secretaries. It was my 100% father's failing of course, but it does happen.
1
Presumably the husband is totally fine with a young male nanny then ?-)
8
So I skimmed the comments quite a ways and shockingly (š) did not see mention of hiring men at all. I would be curious about OPs opinion on that though.
7
That whole thread pissed me off.
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You are so the asshole
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WE DONT WANT YOUR HUSBANDS!
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For the love of god please put your kids in daycare.
8
Yeah babe. YTA.
4
Honestly, it is her house and she doesnāt owe anyone anything. I would say I am conventional attractive, and I had my last DB hit on me constantly to where I felt uncomfortable being home alone with him (live in), but he never hit on the personal assistant. However, my new DB is awesome and not creepy at all. I mean at the end of the day, she should marry someone she can trust ... but she didnāt, so she can choose a nanny that fits her family š¬
3ā
She sort of does owe her husband something though? Like trust, respect, and an answer for her backwards way of thinking. They are in a marriage and raising a child together, she canāt just write off things that are beneficial to their child because of HER issues and expect him to accept it.
And if itās a marriage issue, she owes it to her daughter to NOT let that affect how sheās cared for.
2
Oh no lol I meant she doesnāt owe the people she interviews a job. Yeah I mean therapy is best, but also she shouldnāt feel bad about not hiring someone because honestly if they had to deal with her hating them straight away for being good looking, they probably wouldnāt want that job anyway
1
[deleted]
1
This is some BULLSHIT
3
Lol I donāt get this... why do they think their husbands are such hot shit. Like sorry, Karen, we really donāt want to fuck your husband after caring for your children all day.
3
Yes, its sexism. Which is a lot more damaging to women when other women bring that crap to us. This is why the patriarchy has thrived for the last 20 years.
3
It is an attack on whoever she does hire. She is saying āI want someone I value less than myself.ā Also as someone who lost a job because she wasnāt a man (the were a gay couple said they were open to a nanny but really only wanted to hire a manny. Went through an agency) it sucks!!
So imagine getting this job and loving it and finding out that you were picked because in part you are not youthful or attractive. That would completely damage the relationship.
3
Puppies
3
I totally understand her fears.
2ā
Genuinely curious - As a nanny, how do you reconcile that w your own self confidence? Personally, I think I would want to believe that my MB is confident in her marriage as opposed to thinking I was a safe bet.
5
Right? I look just like my MB. I know my DB has ZERO interest in me for multiple reasons. 0. I am not his wife. 1, I work for him. 2, I am not his wife. 3, I am nothing like his SMART AND ACCOMPLISHED AF wife. 4. Heās not an idiot.
4
And hopefully 5-He respects you as the professional you are.
4
Baby elephants
2
Honestly, it hasnāt ever occurred to me that my DB would ever be interested in me, but that could very well stem from my own self-confidence. Iām very confident in my role as a professional, maybe not so much in the personal aspect. But Iāve never been one to believe that mere looks could cause a man to stray and that if the man is going to stray, he will find a way.
4
For this job, I can understand it. Itās her private home and husband. She doesnāt want to feel inferior or unattractive in her own home, especially after a new baby. Whether that be she thinks her husband thinks the nanny is pretty, or that she looks at the nanny and feels baby about her own post-baby appearance.
Itās not a desirable trait, but I can understand it. I think for her and baby, she would be better off feeling secure with her nanny to prevent any unnecessary postpartum stress or depression. She can work on her insecurities when sheās more stable.
I hate the stereotype, but if someoneās considering not hiring me for a reason like that, I donāt want to work for them anyways. Everyone should feel secure in a nanny-family relationship!
1
At the end of the day she needs to hire someone she is comfortable with, asshole move or not. However, lady might want to look into some therapy to work on her issues.
Also, picturing a conversation down the road where nanny asks why they decided to hire her, "you were appropriately unattractive." šš