Things I Learned From Buying a Fixer Upper House

1. However long you think it will take to do anything, double it, and that's how long it will really take.
2. However much you think it will cost to do anything, double it, and that's how much it will cost.
3. Your HGTV-watching experience will be of no help to you about 99.9999% of the time.
4. The question "Are you...ummm...handy?" doesn't help once the house has been settled on.
5. Old houses have the scariest wallpaper ever.
6. Insulation can get in your eye and hurt. A lot.
7. Old house debris can cause bronchitis.
8. A wrecking bar is the best purchase you can make for a fixer-upper. It's been with me through everything and I plan on framing it and keeping it prominently displayed. Don't tell my s.o.
9. You will notice every detail about any house you walk into from here on out ("ooo, I like that thresh-hold" was never a sentence I thought I'd utter)
10. You will notice every contractor/plumbing/electrician/etc. van/truck/car/etc. when you drive around. The nicer the vehicle, the more expensive the work will be. All of the subcontractors you want working on your house should drive rape-vans.
11. The movie "The Money Pit" is not a comedy, it's a documentary.
12. People buying things like a nice grill at Home Depot or Lowes will make your blood boil. How dare they have a finished house while I'm thinking a second wrecking bar might lead to some dual-handed house-combat.
13. Happy people in general will become the enemy.
14. Raking leaves/mowing the lawn/making the exterior look nice are all to be avoided. It's like loading up on bread at a buffet. Just don't do it.
15. Heavy duty trashbags cost way too much.

I'm sure I've learned a lot more...but I'm blocking a lot of it out so a shred of sanity remains.

EDIT - Loving the comments... and just so you know what I mean by 'scariest wallpaper ever', here's what we think was a baby's room - http://i.imgur.com/JHOcz.jpg - That would be freaky clowns (maybe in blackface...we weren't sure) and demonic unicorns.