People seem to do all sorts of crazy things in an attempt to find themselves. What exactly is it that they're searching for? How do you find yourself? How do you hide yourself in order for you to need finding?
Posted Dec 26, 2010, 9:13 AM UTC
I've been trying to understand this all my life. I'm female and almost 40 now and I have come to understand that for me, "Finding myself" consists of accepting who I have become.
Finding yourself also consist of trying new things. It's an evolving life process. Like, last year, I discovered how I feel right at home on my new motorcycle! just an example.
You can't really find yourself, no one really truly knows themselves. Hell, I could be the world's most talented horseback polo player, but I've never ridden a horse to find out.
I think really what it means is using every resource at your disposal to put yourself in an environment that makes you feel more fulfilled. Taking months looking for a job in a completely different career path, meeting and romancing someone, finding a new hobby that you find really satisfying.
It took a good eleven years for many of my friends to realise that high school wasn't for them, and now they're making a shitload more money than me while I'm still trying to scrape my way into university.
It's more about accepting that what you're doing isn't enjoyable than it is 'searching' for yourself. The first step, I suppose, is accepting that you're not where you want to be.
What if someone was perfectly happy with their life? They weren't millionaires or anything but they accepted the shortcomings of their life and was otherwise happy with their past and present and where their future was headed. Have they 'found themselves' already? Or is there an always-room-for-improvement rule?
In my opinion, 'finding yourself' is understanding who you are and where your place is within the groups you are involved in (friends, family, work, school, etc).
To me it's finding out what you're interested in, what you could do without, what you simply can't go without, etc.
It's also knowing how other people influence you and why.
the phrase could be substituted for "find a reason to live"
To find purpose? If a mother devotes her life to raising her children and to being the best mother she can be, is that her reason to live? Is it about fulfilling a duty?
I can't tell you what it is because it's something different to everyone, but you can spot it when you gravitate towards it in life, when it gets you out of bed in the morning.
Becoming aware of ones dharma. Basically, the cosmic order of life.
It means that you start reading "deep" books and making completely obvious observations about them to your friends. You change your style and mannerisms slightly-to-drastically every few months, talking about them as if they actually matter.
You start looking down on "immature" behaviors of your friends, and society in general.
Mostly, you become an insufferable, self-important bore whose diatribes about gluten-free diets and the joys of fixed-gear bicycles drive the average bystander insane.
Sadly, that seems to be what most people are doing.
I'll take a wild guess here and say that 'finding themself' in this case means "fucking lots of guys that aren't you".
I'm not a guy and nobody I'm fucking has said they want to find themself. Sorry.