I hate one of my player's characters, how do I stop?

Does anyone else share your annoyance?

Remember that you get to have fun playing the game too, and if one of the PCs just is not working out, have a talk with the player about it.

To me, these:

he's an anime character who gets super indignant at the smallest slight and he just doesn't fit the setting and feels incredibly "I am the mainest character" kind of way

are valid reasons to rethink the PC. That doesn't seem like a character that's fun to be at the table with for anyone, not just you.

Honestly, the best thing you can do is gather the courage to say "no" to the player when they make decisions that don't fit your world and find a version you can both be happy with rather than let yourself be a doormat. Compromise is a two way street so both you and the player need to be working to make the character into something everyone at the table can be happy with, and that player can't know there's something that needs to change unless you tell them.

Talk to your player. Tell them the challenges the character they have created is causing. At this stage it sounds like a problem PC and not a problem player.

I always try to have a hand in character creation. There are a few things I don't allow. Any sort of Lone Wolf character, any character that has either no reason to be with a group or a background reason to not work with another character in the group (I won't allow a Dwarf that 'will never cooperate with any elf', into a group with an elf), i generally don't allow Evil or Chaotic Neutral alignments, etc.

I also insist on certain things from my players before we start our first session. They need to tell me why their character is with the group. They need to tell me how they came to be with the group. (I usually get my adventure groups together before our first session, using Discord or text messaging).

I've found that keeping an eye on these things early on helps a ton. I'm also a fan of character background questionnaires. Experienced players who can't fill these out, haven't made a 'character' they have made a 'stat block'.

That's a hard one, you can't just not feel they way you feel.

I guess you could try to influence the players behavior with positive and negative reinforcement. Give him some kind of reward when he acts in a way that fits the story. Like have an npc say something nice about him, nothing game changing. Save anything negative only for when he does something that really distracts from the story. Still, nothing big, just maybe have an npc act disgusted by his behavior. But if he notices your doing this it could backfire.

Either that or, if you think they can take constructive criticism, tell them about the feel of the story you are going for, and ask them to help you achieve that feel.

I would prefer to go with option #2, myself.

DMing is hard because to do what you love you have to find people willing to spend three hours a week playing your story. And sometimes those people are annoying.

I’ve had this problem before, and the main problem was no one else at the table was as active a player, so they dominated with their BS. It didn’t stop until I started another group without them.

The only thing I can say is if you can say, “I don’t think your play style fits with this story,” then do that. Otherwise, make more room for everyone else to be the star, like by making them MUCH more interesting to the NPCs than the anime character.

If the actions are only bothersome to you and don't necessarily detract from the narrative just impose a roll on them to "speed up" the encounter. Once the narrative is getting derailed say, "ok out of character, what are you trying to accomplish?" Then determine what skill is appropriate, bestow advantage on the check as "reward" for their dedicated rp and move on. There's nothing wrong with wanting to keep the flow of narrative going. Just curious what are some examples of "anime" RP and "mainest" that stick out as a nuisance?

This might be bruising on the ego but I think the right tactic here is complete and total subjection to the player. Really drive home that they are amazing at roleplaying, are a dream player, and that this is 100% YOUR problem, and that YOU are having difficulty roleplaying against this character. Drive home the fact that the character is TOO well realized and that this makes the other PC’s seem less interesting by comparison.

Basically boost your player up, make them understand that by changing their character they are doing unto you an act of charity. I think this will help avoid a defensive response. If you are as overwhelmingly kind as possible, it will make them refusing seem like a low blow.

So the scenario seems to be that you, and only you, dislike this character for a variety of personal reasons- whether it be the dislike of the anime factor, or you think he's a spotlight hog, etc (a little more info about what exactly rubs you the wrong way might be helpful). You think it's unfair to punish him for this, but subconsciously do it anyway...

With this in mind, I suggest taking minor actions and course diversions to counteract these factors- For example, you seem to think he thinks (or at least behaves like) he's the main character... so thrust someone else into the spotlight- put them in a forest and allow the ranger to naturally take lead, something like that. He'll hopefully take a side roll and be more "bearable" for you, and hopefully from there his behavior will shift, as will your perspective on him.

-However, be careful not to force him to the back, or shove someone to the front if they don't want to be there.

You can do all the mature things already mentioned...or when a monster kills his character you don't have to miss the character.

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Or build an NPC that feels the same way about the character as you do and isn't afraid to say

Is there anything worse than anime-inspired characters in D&D? The answer is >!absolutely not, no, nothing is worse.!<

I have a PC who is brash, indignant, and incredibly egocentric, and another that is an absolute bruiser who literally wants to break down every door they come across.

Luckily I have other creative players. Let them cast/fight each other.

My cleric cast command successfully against the bruiser and made a half-orc sit at her feet like a dog during an important negotiation he was ready to ruin.

Everyone thought it was hilarious and took it in stride. I’d let the party find a way to corral any unwanted behavior if you think they can handle it themselves. (In-game, definitely not in real life. That’s your job to address.)