I want to split myself in half

Part of me is glad for the family that cares about me and wants to be a happy person. The other part of me is mad and depressed all the time for various reasons, most of which is not being in a romantic relationship. Trying to be happy on my own and not think about it, but I can't. It makes me sad. Tried to do things to get a gf, but to no avail. I really wish I had no romantic desires because it keeps me from being happy a lot of times.