After years of trying, partner figured out that she hasn’t felt real sexual desire [NSFW]

Hello all!

Figured I’d come in for some input since I really enjoy this community and frequent it so many times a day.

So long story short, I’ve [F21] been with my partner [F21] for 3.5 years now and she was on libido killing SSRI medication for like 2.5 years and went off of them for about a year now but now suffers from PSSD (really just lasting no libido even after going off of SSRIs). We have a dead bedroom because of this and have never frequently had sex or anything.

She did some more emotional digging and figured out that she’s never wanted to have sex, she’s just wanted to want to have sex. Like she’s missed having a libido and mistook that for having a libido.

She assured me that there was consent but it still doesn’t make me feel that great. It kinda just makes me a little sick that all of the sexual encounters we’ve had has lacked any real any sexual desire from her, like it feels empty. And it kinda explains why the encounters often felt empty in the first place.

Idk I’m past the whole “her lack of libido doesn’t mean I’m not attractive or like worthy” or whatever, that’s not the issue. It just feels weird and almost like a violation of something but I don’t know what. Maybe that I feel like all of my firsts have... even less meaning now? I don’t know and I’m kinda struggling to think through this.

Does anyone have any possible insights or has gone through this and can share their feelings?

TLDR: Partner said that she hasn’t experienced any actual sexual desire throughout our whole relationship and now our sex life is cast in a different light and I don’t know how to feel about it.