Source
r/depression•
Fridden

My dad died last Sunday.

They actually think it was around Thursday but didn't find him til Sunday. He died of congested heart failure which my uncle died of almost 3 years ago to the month. He was having a lot of health issues and was going to see a doctor last Thursday but died before that ever happened. I hadn't talked to him in almost 10 years. I'm 33 now and haven't seen him since I was 16. We were best friends when I was a kid but kinda grew apart as I got older as I live in Arizona and he lived in Washington State. I guess the longer it got the harder it got to pick up the phone. I now hate myself for not reaching out. He was only 55. I just wanna hug him and tell him sorry but that will never happen.

It's weird after not talking to him for so long. Never thought I would miss him this much. I feel so lost and alone. Not even sure if anyone is gonna read this but just had to tell someone. I haven't been able to sleep. I have work in a few hours and I'm just lying in my bed bawling my eyes out. I just want it to end so I can see him again.

Posted Mar 8, 2020, 11:16 AM UTC

8113
PartyOnThePaolao•

Keep going to them fond memories you have with him in your youth. If reaching out is something that could have gone both ways, then promise yourself to never stop trying with your own children, no matter what.

9
FriddenOP•

Yeah those memories are what keep replaying in my head. I don't have kids though.

2
xXLordRuiXx•

Call off work today, tell your boss the reason, hope your boss would understand, maybe call your mom or any other relatives, just to talk it out, I’m sure you’re not the only one missing him

3
FriddenOP•

I've already missed three days. I can't really afford to miss anymore time unfortunately.

3
xXLordRuiXx•

Then you should go to work, it’s not going to be that bad I mean, losing someone dear is hard, but life still needs to keep going, and you still need to feed yourself and support your family (assuming you’re married)

2
icelollied•

Revel in your grief. It is human. Embrace it. It is human.

As time passes, those waves of grief will still be present, but they will be more spaced out and smaller. You will get through this. You will be forever grieving your fathers passing. But just know that the grief does get manageable. You will ride those waves

2
FriddenOP•

Thank you. I Hope it gets better. I'm sure it will I have lost family before. My uncle on my dads side died three years ago at a young age as well and that hit me pretty hard.

1
JohnGoBuffaloBills•

You went 15 years without seeing your dad?

1
FriddenOP•

Yeah somewhere around there. The longer it went the harder it got and I had no adress or number for years as well.

There were other reasons that are very complicated for why as well that I don't really wanna go into though.

1
mylifestinksss•

The world will be a better place when my dad dies.

1
[deleted]•

[removed]

-1
FriddenOP•

I'm not really sure what you're getting at but this is disrespectful. My dad just died but I should be thankful? Fuck outta here

1
MachiavellianBadass•

Yes, you should be thankful for him not shoving bananas in his anus too

1