Acute writer’s block since manic episode. Any suggestions from you lovely creatives would be welcome
Greetings fam! I saw that so many of you find solace in creative projects, and wanted your advice. I am a graduate student, and writing (creative and academic pieces - articles, op-eds and theses) used to be my lifeline. Words would flow from my fingertips with great ease, and I never had to worry about stumbling over words, finding perfect phrases to encapsulate my emotions over specific themes, or generally moving forward with my writing in any way whatsoever. I had a sharp manic psychosis last May, followed by a hospitalisation. The crash since then has been inevitable, and as most of you know, draining at many levels. I spiralled into the worst depression of my life, the colours faded away into nothing , and I lost my way with words. I took a sabbatical from graduate school for the year (still on it) and while my medications (Latuda, Lamictal, Depakote and Pristiq) have pulled me out of the depression, I struggle so much to write again. It feels like someone chopped off a limb, and I can still feel the haunting phantom cries , but can’t get myself to do anything about it. Has anyone gone through the same thing, for any creative process? Do you have any suggestions? I would be so, so grateful. I would be happy to write you something. I’ve been practising writing a little bit everyday but the struggle is tearing my self confidence into shreds. All help would be really appreciated. Lots of love.
Posted Mar 9, 2020, 2:56 PM UTC
I think that the creativity is still there, but mania lets you become more unhinged in how you come up with ideas and they flow faster. Your confidence and writing style demonstrated in your work shows because you aren't doubting yourself while writing in a manic state. Every idea is a self perceived good idea when manic. You're focusing that grandiosity and channeling it into your work because your ability to doubt yourself is impaired.
When I write while manic, the ideas flow yet come out disorganized on paper. Grandiosity creates ideas that can be fine tuned while in a stable mindset
But if depression makes you not enjoy writing, then maybe try writing short stories or something so you're able to come up with new ideas without the long term commitment of a bigger project. But try to remember that you have one brain and the manic version of yourself is still you, just with a different train of thought while working.