My GF Domme might no longer want to be my Dom after my brutal rape.. I think she’s scared.

I was raped two months ago, a severe rape, that left me emotionally, physically, spiritually broken.

• I see a therapist, psych, and social worker

My domme was not home at the time, but she came home to find me beaten and bloody on the floor, she didn’t call 911, she asked me if I felt anything was broken, touched me to make sure, proceeded to pick me up and carry me four blocks over to the hospital.

At the hospital, she and the rest of my family was by my side the entire time. I could see that in her eyes she was struggling but she NEVER once expressed anything to me negative. She supported me, apologized that she wasn’t home earlier from work. My mom told me later on that she didn’t eat or drink, the couple of days I was in the hospital and since then my family has noticed she’s different, more quiet, more angry, and my family loves her because of how much light she brings into her lives with her personality and jokes.

Our relationship was a 24/7 TPE before this happened and certain things have been kept I know because I specifically asked or protecting me other wise such as installing a camera at our entry way for our apartment, checking in on me, motivating me to even get up, supporting me, acts of service to make life easier for me while also being the only person who isn’t treating me like I’m broken, still laughs and makes jokes with me. She’s my person.

Other wise, she’s been very stand-offish when it comes to asking things she expects of me.

It’s killing me. The out of control that I feel, I need her to put back in place for me and I don’t know what to do.

Yes, I know, talk to her, I have and she says she’ll always be my Domme, we’re just focusing on the priority which is making sure that I’m okay.

So today, which made me write this post, I found a note in her coat (which I’m sending to the dry cleaners I wasn’t snooping (she’s constantly writing notes and has them all over the place to remember things, it’s one of my favorite things about her) and the note said “you failed to protect her”. It was crumbled before hand/re-opened and it looked all over the place and had it not fallen out I would’ve never known.

This wasn’t her fault and I want to make sure she’s knows that. I just want my TPE back, my regular life back before all this happened.

Has anyone ever been through this? Any advice? Thank you in advance and I apologize for the long read.