He cheated with a man 😔

I have been in shock since I found out. He came home with hickies but says nothing happened. Come to find out he met up with a guy coworker before work. My whole world is upside down now. I don't believe him... Idk why I am still here trying to figure things out. I have not forgave him for it. He's asked for forgiveness but there's more to it... He freakin lied about his preference. He says he's bi not gay. He said he knows he's not gay and that he loves me. I am so hurt and so confused. Either way he came home with hickies... There's been texts and pics etc too. All this is too much. 17 yrs of marriage and bam he destroyed me just like that. I am just breathing now he killed me inside. He's the only one I've loved and been with...we have 3 kids. I feel hate and i think it's overpowering the love I feel or felt for him. I just wish I could yank him out of me and send him away.

I even want to go and cheat on him too... But I know that would make me feel terrible. I Have values and respect myself. Idk why this had to happen to me... I've been through so much in my lifetime...its just not fair.

Anyone else been cheated on with a man... Bi husband? How do you know the difference? Intimately I would have never guessed he was into men. 😔 💔 There are days I wish I would just die. Any advice would help.