a letter to my ex

We can’t make it much past a year, can we? Well, I can, but you can’t. I know that your scared of the seriousness. I know that when I talked about the future you’d be freaking out on the inside. You would distance yourself, and you would treat me unfair. It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that this is the second time we’ve made it to the year mark, and you’ve left. It makes it hard for me to move on, in hopes that you’ll come back again. If you do, let’s give two years a shot?

I’m not mad at you for leaving. I do understand that you’re scared of commitment. Maybe you’re not though, and maybe I’m just not the one for you. I love you. You know this. The door is open, but I need to step away from it. I can’t keep holding onto that hope. I want to. I might stand by a little longer. But you can’t keep telling me you don’t know if you’ll come back, and that you love and care about me. I can’t be your friend until I can learn to live without you.

But buddy, if you do decide to come back - you need to learn to treat me how I deserve to be treated. You and I both know what I deserve. Well, at least you did the first year of our relationship. I won’t dwell on that though. Right now, you say you need to work on yourself. I’ve heard that before. I hate going through this same breakup twice. I know I’m stronger this time, but it doesn’t always feel that way.

I love and care about you. I hope you get everything you want out of this life, but I selfishly hope to god that is me.

P.S. I miss your mom. Give her a hug for me.