Everything is wrong.

I don’t know what life is anymore. I feel like everything I’ve hoped for is gone. I feel like anything joyful about life just fades to gray before I even know what it is. The people I want in my life aren’t there. The things I want to happen won’t happen. I just lay here and think what am I still doing here. There’s no reason for me to stick around. It keeps going wrong. Everything keeps going wrong. I don’t want to live through this. I need to go. I need to end. I wish I knew how. If I drink enough wine will I die? If I get drunk enough will everything just finally go away and never come back. If someone cares, they would be there for me. If there’s a reason to live, somebody ought to tell me. I don’t think anyone will. Nobody is there.