I stood up to the man who groomed me, but I feel like a hypocrite

Finally managed to do it. He sent me a picture of myself in a sexual context through instagram DMs. I had sent that to him at 14 after being asked. It was the first time he’d contacted me in months. I sent him a short curt message telling him that what he did was wrong and that he needed to delete any and all images of me permanently. He took advantage of me at a very vulnerable point in my life. I was a severely mentally ill 14 year-old girl who was dealing with psychological abuse from a parent. (We’ve gone to therapy and we are forming a healthier relationship). I felt like I needed someone to rely on, and he ended up taking advantage of that. I am proud of myself, but still anxious about the repercussions it could bring. I am irrationally afraid that he will see this on here, but I guess I don’t care. I feel sick looking back.

PLEASE recognize the signs of grooming. I could have avoided many months of pain if i had understood that I wasn’t ‘special’ for being able to hold a conversation with an adult, and that having someone 21+ wait for you to turn 18 is not normal.

I should have been able to see all the red flags, but I was blinded by the need for a positive role model.

I feel as though I excused too much, and like I was a bad person for getting involved with him in the first place. I am a bisexual woman and he would constantly spew streams of homophobia and racism. I feel like I should have had the power to have stood back then, and I feel like a hypocrite for not doing it. I always preach about not being a bystander, and that if you see something say something... but I didn’t.

(This wall of text is copied from my post to r/teenagers but I wanted to have feedback from both people my age and people who’ve had more experience in life, so I decided to post it here)