I did a scary and vulnerable thing today, and it was okay

Because of a comment I made here on Reddit (not in this sub), someone reached out to me from an NPR affiliate to ask if I'd do an interview for their podcast, "This is Uncomfortable." Even the name kind of scared me.

The podcast is about the societal effects of poverty, and this episode will be about having bad teeth. I did a three hour interview about how my teeth were bad when I was younger and how that affected me - both in how others saw me and how I saw myself because of it. We also talked about how I managed to get them fixed and the difference I saw from people after.

A lot of old memories were dredged up, and some resentment of my parents for being so neglectful of me. I had to be so open and vulnerable for this interview, so it felt a lot like a therapy session. I jokingly mentioned that, and the host said she finds people who've been to therapy easier to interview for these kinds of things, because we've had to be really introspective. I think she's right.

It was such a scary thing.. being so vulnerable and knowing this is going into a public podcast a lot of people listen to. But, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, even though my heart raced the whole time. I'm sure you guys understand how hard it is to be so vulnerable. But I did it! And I hope the episode makes even one person stop and think about their social conditioning that says people with bad teeth are bad people.

I'm so proud of myself that I forced myself to do this thing! Probably more than I should be, but I don't care. It was soooo hard to agree to do it. But I did it anyway.

Note: I have listened to more of the podcast now. I was wrong. It's about the intersection of money and society rather than specifically poverty. Still, it's a good podcast. You should check it out. I'll post when this episode is up if I don't freak out too much listening to it myself.