I lost 2 very important people.

It is now 1:15 pm. My girlfriend of 10 years commuted suicide 45 minutes ago, along with my boyfriend (I'm polyamarous). I have dysthymia, and I was able to keep off cutting for months... This caused me to start again.

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Everything leading up to their suicides are my fault. I caused it. About a week ago, I started an extremely big fight between us 3. I pissed my boyfriend off to the point he hated me, and I caused my girlfriend to want to stop speaking to me. Eventually my girlfriend forgave me. We got back together, but my boyfriend, who had a split personality disorder, hated me. He still hates me, even now that he's dead. That fight led up to this. He committed suicide because he couldn't stand to see how me and my girlfriend were hurt. But it's still my fault. I love both of them with all of my heart and I don't think I'll ever get over this. Thanks for reading, anyone that does, and have as good a day as you can.