My dumb life story if you care to read

  Note: this is my life story so get comfy, grab a snack. Get under a blanket. Grab your dog/cat.

 Introduction

 Ok first off, I don’t know if this is the right sub for this. If this isn’t please provide me with the right sub, thanks. My life is not a normal one I guess, I like to think my life is different than the 8 billion other people on this planet. But alas, it’s not. I can say I know I’m going to be rich or I’m going to make an impact! But no. It doesn’t work that way, life doesn’t go by the rules, of which I don’t think we know, I’m probably going to end up in a normal life stuck in a job, where I’m not happy, if I’m lucky have a family, ya da ya da ya da. I guess I’m just stuck in a cycle that everyone has been stuck in since the age of humans. I guess I don’t really know what my goal is, who does. Also, I don’t really know what I’m asking advice for. I guess for asking if this is a normal cycle of life or if I’m weird (honestly I already am). Life...life is something that won’t matter, life is like drunk driving without a car. I honestly don’t know. You know what? now that I think about it I would love to be in the state of non-existence, where nothing matters. We might say we don’t know what happens after life, but we do. It’s just zero, nothing, no happiness. Yet, no sadness. That’s my goal to reach there. I guess that’s why I’m such a disappointment. I just lost the will to live. Trust me I don’t want to commit suicide, I just don’t care if I died. That’s why I lost all motivation. Everything. Honestly I feel the thing I believe in is that I am the only person on earth. Everyone else doesn’t matter, this is all meant for me and when I die, that’s when the V.R. headset comes off. The reveal, that I wasn’t really on “Earth”. It’s gonna be a surprise! But it’s not.

 Oh yeah and before I forget, this is on mobile, so sorry for formats blah blah. That’s the intro

 P.S: I made the intro before chapter 3, so I guess kinda like a mid story thought. 

Also one last note never forget your family, not the people who abuse you, only the people who truly love you and care for you, don’t hang out in the group that laughs at you, oh yeah and please for the love of anything don’t end up like me.

 Chapter 1; of my life

 Ok background, when I (now 14, happy birthday me) was very young, around 3-5, my mom divorced my dad. It... was kinda messy. Right before they divorced, they fought and yelled. One day it got bad and my dad went to the door and left while yelling at my mom, my sister and I heard it all, as we were sitting on the couch. After the events, my sister and I stayed with our mom. I had a lot of tantrums, because I didn’t have any attention, because my mom worked all day, just to provide for us. I was a needy child, I was also diagnosed with ADHD. One day I was having a tantrum and I yelled at my mom that I wanted to live with my dad... she ended up calling him to pick me up and I lived with him for one year. I then went back with my mom and in 6th grade, had another big tantrum and she ended up slapping me and leaving a good sized bruise on my chin. Her boyfriend saw this and (from what I think) thought I was gonna retaliate and grabbed and put me in the bath tub and turned on the cold water. He did this while I still had my clothes on... I remember this very vividly, as I felt like I was drowning and felt very weighed down. I now have anxiety about drowning. After this happened I stated fighting back because I was scared and I had a fight reaction. My mom called the police on me and they talked to me about not doing that. I told them, that my mom hit me on the chin and showed them the bruise (this will be important later). They started talking to my mom. I didn’t really hear what they said. Anyways, after this I moved back with my dad for 7th and 8th grade. I am with him currently.

 Chapter 2; of my life

 That was when I was with my mom. Honestly I could say that’s it, that is all, my mom and dad suck. I hate them. I was born in the wrong family. Blah, blah, blah. But no, that’s not it with my mom. Honestly I love her to death, she’s so soft and caring, the only reason that why that happened was because she was scared and didn’t know what to do, another reason why, was because of her old boyfriend, a man should know that grabbing a kid, who is very weak, should not throw him in the shower and not let him out, while he was screaming about drowning. Don’t wary as the boyfriend was broken up with, by my mom. She had since told me she was sacred for me, when that happened. Anyways, my mom does love me too, she tried her best to take care of two children, by herself. She worked hard. Never hanged out with friends/rejected invites. She loved us kids to death. Her current husband, is my fucking guy, I love him, he was like the father I never had. We can talk and i can trust him. My mom is a very nice lady. Alas, it’s time to talk about my dad

Chapter 3; of my life

 My dad, my dad is a guy that just wasn’t meant for me. I try to love him and trust me I really do, and I know he does too. Here’s the thing: we weren’t meant for each other. When him and my mom split up, I visited him often every weekend. He had a very weird teaching style. He often bought me what I wanted, but never what I needed. He would often forget to take me to doctors appointments, dentists, etc. he has very mixed signals he tells you what he needs you to do, and when you do it, he says that’s not the right way/do something else. He is very old school, he punishes by hitting and never showing his weak side/getting mad when you don’t do manly stuff/girly stuff. If I tried to hug him he accepts it but looks at you weird. Technically, no affection if you’re a man, and nothing but affection if you’re a girl. I was so attached to him as a kid I went with him to work tried to do everything he has. It was a very loving relationship up until he met his girlfriend. That’s it’s own chapter. When the “incident” happened between me, my mom, and her boyfriend, he was fucking lvivd. He said how could she do that to him, etc. He started going to court with her for custody of me, child support, etc. It took its toll on me, as my mom, and dad kept telling me to support them, whatever. But then, the judge saw the records of when she hit me and put it into my dad’s favor.

 This all happened last year, since then I have lost interest in most things, my dad gets mad because I can’t do basic things like doing laundry, taking showers, cleaning my room. He also says things like get outa bed, get off your phone, your clothes are wrinkled. He has also gave me lots of talks over and over again. He just recently left to Utah and I am left here at home with the people who live with me. The fucking people I will never consider family. My step brother, step sister, and his girlfriend. My step mom.

 Chapter 4; of my life

 My step mom... is a very interesting specimen. I met her 5 years ago when I was 7. My sister’s 10th birthday. 

 She was apparently My dad’s friend since childhood. She was a very sweet and great person, I considered her my fucking mom, like a second one. 

 On that day, my dad had gotten a clown for my sisters birthday. I think my worst enemy was that fucking clown, if she just had another birthday party, or had gotten sick, I think my life would’ve ended better than today. Anyways, no time to blame life, the clown made her and my dad to dress up like cows. They had to sing to a song, a Spanish song, and then at the end, they had to kiss. Hehe, that was the beginning of the end for me. 

 Soon after they started dating. Honestly, I loved her just as much as my mom. She was so soft, so understanding, she defended me when my dad was mad at me.

 I liked her kids too, her son and I, were bros, we’d die for each other! One time, We beat up a guy who was bullying me. 

 We would always want to join the army, I wanted to do Air Force, and he wanted to be a mechanic. We even had a phrase. It was “I’ll (step brother) make the bombs and you (me) will drop them!” 

 My step mom got pregnant with my half-brother, we moved into an apartment all together, life was great! everything went smoothly! Until... it didn’t...

 Chapter 5; of my life

 I recently talked to my dad and he said a main reason why everything fell apart was because apparently he flirted with another girl and kissed her (‘by accident’/‘she started it according to him) My step mom started getting cold to me and her children started being cold to me too. 

 She started pointing out all mistakes I did. Stoped talking to me in general. She started slowing untangling my life with her everything we built as a relationship started falling apart, she stoped defending me, her son started talking to other people behind my back, I hated it. Even today she has little to no involvement in my life. Her son and I stoped talking. No more friends. She started wanting my half brother to stop talking to me.

 In 8th grade, as I write this, he transferred to my school and has started making fun of me, doing little things to me, etc.

 Then the incident happened... I had finally had it with my dad’s bullshit and how he always wanted me to have a better relationship with her even though I told him, that she did that herself removing me, I didn’t do it. I was also done with her too.

 I ran away for a day, I just walked out when my dad had started yelling at me and tried to hit me, I punched him... I started fighting him... imagine that, imagine a son hitting their father, that was me. I did that. I ran out of the house, because he started calling the cops, I ran and hid on a very stormy day, I eventually went back to the house because I needed clothes and food and water... I grabbed my phone too. Anything that might’ve helped, as I was getting ready to leave I accidentally ran into my step mom and her kids. She got mad that I was there and kept saying, “DoEs YoUr DaD kNoW yOuR hErE?” And “ GiMmE yOuR kEyS! nOw!” 

 Eventually we worked through that and we  figured it out, but not her. 

 Last thing that happened that I’m not motivated to write was that her son framed me for drugs, and she fully supported him, until I had texts and other evidence to prove otherwise, oh and he wanted to fight me too, she has also told him to kick my ass.

 Chapter 6; of my life 

 Honestly I’m kinda tried. I’ve been writing for 2 hours and I wanna go to bed so this chapter will be about things I think about later (also for the future) so.... 🚨 Work in progress 🚨 


 After thoughts

 Honestly I feel like I could’ve derailed things better and I know I’ll probably be able to think about it better later so if you want me to be more specific on certain details please tell me which.

I... feel like my life story really doesn’t matter, I don’t care if you say it’s gonna get better soon and it probably will be, but I really don’t know. this story will probably only get a few views so I don’t really expect much comments anyways, but I honestly don’t care I didn’t make this looking for attention, I’m not looking for useless internet points, all I wanted was an organized place to put my thoughts and to see a few people give me their opinions to see if I’m just a dumb ass for writing this, and everyone goes through this and I’m just special, or maybe yo bro how can you think like that, idc.

 Please feel free to ask questions, comments, or concerns. 

I will update the after thoughts again soon and add a tl;dr.

One last thing I’m pretty sure I’m getting therapy and that I’m gonna be diagnosed as a sociopath, but that’s a different cookie for another glass of milk.

The end... so far