Motivation

Motivation seems to be the root of all my problems if i can figure out how to actually motivate myself to follow through with things everything else im feeling should go away. I don't do any of my work because i keep telling myself ill have the energy to try later, and later comes but im still not feeling like doing it. I tell myself "screw it just start and try" and i do but somewhere along the 5 minute mark it turns into a haze. I dont know why i keep telling myself im gonna do it later i keep assuming ill want to do it later because im gonna be honest i know i have to do my work if i want to pass and do well but i cant seem to care ??? I know this post probably seems redundant around here but i cant fail my first semester of college again and i domt know what to do i hate myself so much because of it but i cant bring myself to do any of the work from the massive pile I've made myself. Seriously man what the fuck is wrong with me i get the adhd but this cant be it there has to be something else wrong with me why cant i care enough to keep myself on track every time i procrastinate im wide awake i know what im doing i don't deserve the kindness everyone else gets because clearly i dont learn from my wrong doings. Maybe if every time i decided to not do my work someone knocked my teeth out then id learn maybe getting my ass kicked is what i need ,makes me wonder .