Nothing but sadness

So, there was this girl I was head over heels for. Don't wanna get into all the details but basically I was in love with this girl. I had the chance of being with her at one point but I blew it without knowing it. But I've had the feeling I did. To make a long story short, we stopped talking, then after nine months of not talking, she died in a car wreck. Between those nine months I still thought about her and wanted to unblock her and talk to her. But I didn't feel like that would be a good idea. She died on 5/15/19 and I've thought about her everyday. I just wish I could remember her and not be sad. It's almost been a year and I can't believe that much time has passed since then. I really miss her and wish she didn't die.