Source
r/TrueOffMyChest•
Fakepi

I’m not a bad person for wanting to help people.

Last night, I was having a little debate with my girlfriend and my roommate, as we do on occasion. The subject got into trans people and I stated that people with gender dysphoria need to get actual mental health advice not just someone to nod their head. Another statement was that all the people jumping on the bandwagon to make themselves feel special need to stop as its making it harder for people to get the help they desperately need. We had diner and I thought it was a generally nice time.

After my roommate went to bed my girlfriend came up to me “What you said tonight was really transphobic.” I’m stunned and in my head I’m screaming ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IS A MTF TRANS PERSON. She calls me a horrible person because I want to actually help people? The whole idea that we all just play along while the people suffer is sickening to me and now my girlfriend thinks I’m some sort of monster.

I explain all this shit again and she seems to understand what I’m actually saying. “Oh, I thought you were saying they didn’t exist.” WTF, she heard something I didn’t even fucking say. I got pissed and knew that whatever I said afterwards would just lead to a big fight so I went and slept on the couch. HOW IS WANTING TO ACTUALLY GET PEOPLE HELP SO THEY DONT FUCKING KILL THEMSELVES MAKE ME A BAD PERSON.

Just needed a void to scream into.

TL;DR: Said something that sounds right wing and now I’m a horrible person.

Posted Mar 12, 2020, 1:41 PM UTC

515
Faithless_Being•

You're not wrong

4
Maine_Coon90•

You'd think logic would dictate you at least *attempt* psychotherapy before opting for surgical mutilation. I'm not saying that to be an ass, I just know that our current surgical solutions to this problem tend to be really bad (decent outcomes are the exception, not the rule).

2
Faithless_Being•

Agreed, get looked at first by a professional. Not everyone benefits from the surgery, some have regretted it and makes things worse.

2
SecretAccount69Nice•

I don't understand the term "transphobic". Do people really think others are scared of trans people like they are scared of spiders or something? So ridiculous.

2
FakepiOP•

It’s become like the word racist. It means nothing.

2
polygraphicmemory•

Getting gender affirming treatment is treatment, and the most effective kind. How is what you are saying jot denying that trans people exist if you think you fan just disappear the trans away with mental health care that doesn't affirm their gender as a critical aspect of that? I feel bad for your trans friend, like, deeply.

-1
[deleted]•

Are you OP's girlfriend? Because it seems like you're echoing her response. Maybe OP doesn't know about gender affirming treatment. He never stayed that trans people need to be treated because it's wrong to have gender dysphoria.

4
polygraphicmemory•

It being wrong or right is irrelevant. I'm arguing he shouldn't talk about things he doesn't understand at best, and at worst when what the is saying suggests that being trans isn't real (even if he doesn't know that is the fundamental argument he is making). Its not about a moral argument, which your "wrong," implies. Its about being misinformed to the point of believing his own erasure, and doing so loudly.

0
FakepiOP•

Gender affirmation therapy doesn’t work. The suicide rate stays the same even after transitioning. I want to help those people, suicide is horrible and I don’t want to just shrug and ignore those people suffering.

I feel bad for your trans friend, like, deeply.

Why?

2
polygraphicmemory•

Are you reading that one misinterpreted/misunderstood swedish study because you're lazy and don't actually care to learn? And do you think being trans is like, a brain infection that makes you suicidal or something? I don't think you think that. But its obvious that suicide rates are disproportionate due to material outcomes controlled by a transphobic society, which includes being told to shove your reality deep down into yourself. It isn't obvious to someone who has done no reading, or talking in earnest to trans people, or challenge their dumb notions and who want to sound like they "care."

1
FakepiOP•

What about all those people that regret transitioning? They got bad physiological help because we only use affirmation therapy. The system is broken and needs to be fixed or we can keep watching as people kill themselves.

Society, at least in America where I live, is not transphobic.

2
polygraphicmemory•

They are edge cases that are highly publicized because they affirm anti trans bias.

I live in NYC and am trans. You're out of your mind if you think everything is just chill.

1