Anyone else locked in with their pwBPD and about ready to lose their minds, 1 week in?
I just had a charming and delightful conversation with my mother this afternoon. I got called lazy (despite me working 50 hours this week from home) because I'm apparently "not doing enough work around the house and waste all my time staring at a computer." Well I work as a software developer (and dealt with similar abuse when trying to learn to code at home...) and most of my hobbies are computer-based.
Look, if she wanted a frank conversation about household responsibilities, then I'm all ears, but there's no need for insults (and surprise surprise, no one has actually said what they expect of me here). When I asserted boundaries and told her not to insult my work ethic, she waif'd at me about how much I'm hurting her because she "wouldn't insult my own son," all while doubling down on the insults. I'm not sure I can cope with 3 more months of this.
Anyone else locked up with their pwBPD and in need of support? Any advice on how to cope? And could/should I have done anything differently?
(Apologies for the unstructured rant, but I needed to vent. Also this isn't my first post here, but I haven't posted in ages - do I need to repost cat pics/haikus?)
edit - AutoMod says I need to redo a kitty haiku, so here goes:
What's the cat dragged in?
There's now blood on my carpet?!
What a thoughtful gift
Posted Mar 22, 2020, 9:03 PM UTC · edited
That's a hard situation, for sure. For me, knowing that there's never anything you could do differently kinda helps. And I use comedy a lot when I feel I'm being lured into bpd's trap. I built a humor to combat my ubpdmom. First: I psych myself up by telling myself that I will refuse to accept any guilt trips and I will not 'read between the lines' of whatever ubpdmom has to say. Next: take whatever is said by bpd only at face value. Kinda play 'dumb' to any insinuations made. Then: a very blunt, literal , situational comedy is born. I've used this humor to diffuse situations. And sometimes can even shut the bpd down because I didn't respond the way they expected. Ruining their plan to gain power Take care of yourself in this challenging time