Gifts

I really love the fact that the title of the poem isn’t contained in the contents of it . It makes it feel like the writing is somehow a definition or an ode to the person taking these things . What’s also interesting is that from the perspective of the writer they don’t say that anything was taken from them ,they only mention their plight as an afterthought compared to the benefit the person receiving these things will have .

This is fantastic. Genuinely, I am a huge huge fan of free-verse abstraction, or pieces that are meant to be interpreted by the reader like a puzzle crafted by the poet. I think works like those are more awe-inspiring than most structured works or straightforward pieces simply because of that open-ended universe of possibilities. Coupled with that is a style of verse that is somewhat similar to my own, choosing to focus on the words that mean the most by surrounding it with words that will emphasize the point you're driving (e.g., "Take my blood," or "how you outshine."

I want to take a second and just talk about the last two lines of this piece, simply because that was the most moving section to me, especially with the images you create and how you define them. In line 3, you (assuming you are also narrator) say "Take my voice," which already conflicts with the previous lines, both of which had begun by offering the reader physical, tangible items. This leads into "how you outshine the brightest dawn," a line that implies that your voice is more valuable than all that came before because of what you may learn from it, somewhat reminiscent of a biblical epic (God gave you all, yet still you return). In a same vein, the way you styled your poem around building with each line focused in on this emphatic outlook, with the central, most important pieces containing the most information relative to them. To sum what I've already said up, line 3 is one of my favorites because of how it flips on the previously used conventions of the verse, changing the narrative from being a command to action to an almost elegy-like reflection of what once was.

Nothing is as beautiful, however, as line 4. In line 4, you manage to completely wrap the narrative with verse that inspires a response from its reader, especially with a line like "I ask only that you remember." What am I remembering about this person, I know not, yet I still feel the need to have that reflection, like a memoir at a funeral. I'm seeing these glimpses of a person I perhaps knew (For me, personally, I had felt these fleeting memories of my late grandfather), and it left me in awe with the power you close this piece out with. It's one thing to throw verse together to tell a narrative. It's something entirely different to connect with the pieces and feel the subtlety of the words intermix with the structure of the piece to create a work that inspires you to reflect on yourself, your past, and those who've brought you here.

Very well done piece. Please continue.

I really love how open-ended the speaker is, and who they’re speaking to. Current or former lovers? A bittersweet or contentious ending? A parent to a child? An organ donor? I love the abstraction of it, and to give the reader a sense of ownership in the context they choose to read it in.

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