Me (27f) and my housemate/bestfriend (27f) of 9 years - are they lies or misunderstandings?
I'm lucky enough to live with my bestfriend of 9 years. She's a good person, very beautiful, intelligent and supportive in personal matters.
However, there have been a few incidents which combined make me wonder if they are deliberate or not.
A few years ago I was very poor. I still paid my half of the house on time but could not afford a good winter coat and I have a disability that vastly reduces my mobility in cold temperatures. My friend, kind soul that she is, lent me hers.
My dad heard about me needing a coat and said that he wanted to get me one for Christmas. I asked for the same one as my housemate had as it had kept me very warm and sent him the link where she got it from. He responded that it was a fake, that he had found the real manufacturer and bought one from there.
When my housemate saw the coat she commented that they were slightly different. I noted to myself that mine had buttons of a different material and a label on the inside that said the brand name.
Recently she has claimed that my coat is actually hers and that we've been wearing the wrong ones for a while. This is feasible because they're next to eachother on the coat rack and outwardly look the same and are the same size. However mine has the different label in and I was sure I was wearing the right one. She insisted it was hers though.
Later on I asked her to stop using my cutelry and buy her own, as she was leaving it to go mouldy in her room and I was having to buy new dishware every few months. I bought myself a set and so did she. Her set looked similair to mine. Recently her set has gone mouldy and she's begun using mine again. She's keeping it in her room.
This week we both started a diet based around protein shakes. She took one of my glasses from my cupboard and said it was hers and that it had been a gift from her sister. It is exactly the same as the rest of the glasses in the set that I bought and now I only have 3 glasses when I know I bought 4.
I don't know if these are misunderstandings or what. I don't begrudge her a £2 glass, or a cheap cutlery set (though I've moved my coat to my room because I know my dad paid a lot for it). But I'm getting frustrated that she seems to be lying in order to obtain these things. Or maybe it's just all a mistake? Maybe it's me getting mixed up and not her. I'm not sure.
Tl;dr: My housemate keeps claiming that my things are actually hers. Is this a mix-up, lying or am I in the wrong?
Posted Apr 30, 2020, 5:32 AM UTC
Sounds like she's taking advantage of you. You know these things are yours. Don't let her gaslight you. You must stand up for yourself.
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